How to stop the copycat behavior of kids?
“Stop it!”
“ Why do you have to copy your brother? ”
“ If you copy again, I won’t talk to you!”
Have you heard yourself or your close ones say these words to the 3–5 yrs old?
I am sure you must have.
I did too! Until I tried to understand the rationale behind this imitational behavior in kids. In this article, I will share some of my key findings and a few steps to tackle this issue to some extent.
Let’s begin with understanding the role of imitation in a child’s growth!
A quick question: When do you think a child starts imitating?
Answer: Newborn age
Yes! Imitation starts from infancy, where the child first starts with mimicking his mother, then father, and so on. They pick small actions like smiling back when others smile at them, stick out their tongue in response, etc.
Slowly, imitation opens a new world of learning, development, and interaction for children. They pick small actions from people around them and start communicating. Some imitational activities like stacking blocks and using a crayon can assist in building fine motor skills. Make-believe games, role plays remain some of the best and most preferred forms of play for toddlers and children to learn new skills that are again a form of imitation.
Why do children imitate?
We now know that kids start imitating from a very young age, but why do they do it?
Various research from the developmental psychologist (Moritz Daum) states that imitation is almost an instinctive behavior in humans (and in other animals). It promotes learning, creates a sense of belonging, and helps humans identify themselves as part of groups.
Before we get to the question of whether children imitate for the sake of imitating or if they tend to choose who they copy, it’s interesting to know that certain stimuli appeal more to them than others.
It’s been discovered that when a child is surrounded by other children of the same age, as well as adults, they tend to imitate the behavior of their peers. Their mirror neurons activate much more strongly when they’re with someone with similar characteristics to themselves.
Imitation is a significant part of growing up and must be encouraged as long as it’s enhancing and adding to the pro-social development of a child.
But things are not this straight in reality. Often we see the flip side of imitation in the kids. Children are unaware of who they are imitating is correct or not. They tend to copy even the misdeeds from their peers and adults (mostly in kids up to 5 yrs old) and gets extremely challenging.
Here are some ways to tackle the copycat behavior in kids:
- Children learn by observing everything in their surroundings, but they especially pay attention to their mothers and fathers. Being a good role model is a huge responsibility, and the most important step towards managing the mimicking in children.
2. Stories are an integral part of child development and are the best way to connect with them. They have proven to spark imagination, stimulate curiosity and build the skill of reflection in children.
There are various stories available online that talk about copycat behavior and managing it. Here are some:
3. Games excite children and they love learning through them. The “Same or different” is one such game. I came across this while researching and it works really well with kids.
4. As a parent or teacher, it is extremely hard to not get pissed when your kid does this. But, clear communication is the key. Set right expectations, consequences and convey the same to the kids. Also, explain to them why copying everything is not acceptable and its repercussions.
5. Finally, when none of these work, ignore them. Even after repeated instructions, consequences, and follow-ups, if the child continues to behave the same way, he is trying to seek attention. If you end up reacting then, he succeeds and you fail. Ignorance would be the best solution to deal with such scenarios.
Yes, over-imitation is bad, but it also reduces as the children grow and start identifying their individual personalities. To sum up, the happiness and well-being of a child begin at home one step at a time. Things cannot change overnight, and as a parent being patient is important.
